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[dragoon-rising.livejournal.com]

[Vague apology is going to be vague, but that's how Kain does these things. He'll leave it public partially as an act of penance, partially because he's still readjusting to these devices and their filters. He isn't even sure that all of these people are here- he's been gone from Gaia for only a couple weeks, but to him it feels much, much longer. Don't worry Zidane, when he realizes you're not here, he'll bother you when you arrive.]

Cecil. Squall. Onion Knight. Bartz. Firion. Zidane. I apologize to all of you, especially.

I should also extend that apology to the other warriors of Cosmos as well.

I'm... sorry.

[He's still recovering, but he can't finish this without offering:]

...and if anyone has need for another fighter, I can be there at once.

Comments

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Even though it was against my will... I left. I can't bear what it must have done to her... [Kain looks over at Reis, still petting Zephyr comfortingly.] ...and to you. I mean... I assume she's still with us at all because you've cared for her again. I still owe you a great debt for that.

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[Reis shakes her head to refute that thanks.]

I could not let her go to her end alone, but I have not the power to stay that.

[Although it's pretty obvious that Reis went into as much decline as the dragon herself did. They're both important to her and she felt the losses most keenly.]

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...I know...

[Kain looks down, gloomy at knowing what would become of his dragon without him.]

...but you lost so much of your own strength caring and worrying for her... For that I feel I owe you greatly. You know how much she matters to me. Without her... I...

[The bond goes both ways. Zephyr nudges at him, the motion hurts a little, but he doesn't mind at the moment, petting her more.]

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Please, do not thank me. I do not deserve it. I lost hope and resigned myself to my fate as she did. I have done naught deserving of gratitude.

[She folds her hands, placing them in her lap, then staring at them. It masks her need to give in to weariness.]

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...but... you're both still here. That's what matters to me. You've done more for Zephyr... and me... than perhaps you even realize.

[He hesitates, wanting... almost to hug her as he does Zephyr, but feeling awkward about trying.]

It seems you kept each other going somehow, despite the situation...

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[Reis looks up, startled and too open to mask it. How could she have done anything for him when she feels she has done nothing at all? (Really, that hug is needed.)]

I did not wish for you to return to find her gone, yet I feared to give her that hope, and she would not hear it regardless.

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[He moves just a little bit closer to her, taking it easy because it still hurts a little to move too much. That and there's still the awkwardness and he's unsure if she'd welcome such a gesture. Predictably, Kain would have had no trouble instantly hugging her were she in dragon-form.]

I understand. But you've done all you could... and that means a great deal to me. I promise, I'll fight my hardest to remain here now, for her sake... and yours, as well.

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[A smile warms on Reis' face. She's touched he thinks so highly of her.]

I have faith in you.

[She'd hug him without hesitation herself but Reis worries he's still in too much pain following all that he'd been through. Even so, she inches closer and looks up, trying to figure out if she can without hurting him.]

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Reis...

[Kain likes seeing her smile like that. It means a lot to him. He winces a little and makes a pained gasp when he moves closer... and after a couple of attempts and hesitations... he finally offers her a hug.]

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[Without hesitation, Reis moves into the hug, letting out a relieved sigh and closing her eyes. For a fleeting moment, she sinks against Kain, resting her head against his chest.]

I am so relieved you are returned.

[Remembering that wince and gasp, however, she lifts her head, eyes searching for the source of them.]

Are you alright?

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I don't want ever to leave again. Both of you... matter too much to abandon.

[Kain really needed that hug himself, though he'd never admit to it. He's gone through hell lately, and even just being alive is something he wasn't expecting to have again.]

...I'm fine. It's... [Small gasp.] It's nothing, really.

[Yes he's still in some pain, though it's not as bad as it was. Please don't send him back inside. D: He wants to be up in the fresh air, with his dragons.]

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[Even though she doesn't comment on it, Reis can tell it was needed, and thus seems in no hurry to turn loose of him. It's a good reminder for her that they are both alive and will continue so. However, she's not so certain about his claim to be fine. Without a word, she places one hand on him, giving away some of her own vitality to ease his pain. In fact, she'd do so until she fainted if needed. As it is, she pales and wobbles on her feet.]

I don't wish you to leave either. Please, be well.

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[That helps... at least for now, but he's still got a ways to go to be at full strength. He notices what she's doing and holds a hand up to tell her to stop.]

You've lost too much of your strength on my behalf... I'll not take any more from you. There are more than enough healers here.

[Really, the idea is unsettling to him, like casting Drain upon her or something. Which he'd never do even if he could.]

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My life is mine to give as I will.

[It's gently put, but Reis means it in earnest. Besides, no one truly ever owns a dragon. Even those who have taken on the guise of humanity.]

I would see you restored, before care of my own self.

[At least she seems to be respecting his request not to keep on with sapping herself.]

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[Kain shakes his head and then looks down, weighted by an immense sense of guilt. Bad enough he's got all of the betrayal to deal with. He's already hurt so many of his trusted allies.]

But what use will it be for me to be restored at your expense? I don't... I don't want that.

[He already feels horrible at the state she and Zephyr got in without him. Now he just feels worse.]

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[The cloud of gloom settling around Kain troubles her and Reis sighs, looking at once guilty and saddened.]

I will not add to your troubles then and respect your wishes.

[Even though it goes completely against her nature not to make personal sacrifices for those she cares about.]

Forgive me.

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[Were she stronger, and they were in a situation where no healing alternatives could be found... then maybe it'd be different. But he can tell she's suffered greatly, and it makes him so terribly guilty. Kain keeps his eyes on the ground for a moment. He doesn't realize what he's about to say, until he's said it.]

It's not that I'm unappreciative... I am appreciative... I just... You're as important to me as Zephyr.

[It's become true, without him knowing it.]

...Would it be all right if... I rested here for a while?

[He knows they'll make him go back inside eventually, but for now he really would prefer being beside Zephyr.]

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[Reis nods, not willing to deny Kain the right to take his rest with Zephyr, nor to deny the dragon his company. She's concerned for him, but trusts him to do what's best for himself, and by extension, all of them.

However, that nod comes with eyes misting over. She's touched that he feels that way about her and prompts her to hug him again.]

I feel the same. I despaired of your absence.

[Not that she can explain it, but somehow life wasn't worth living if he wasn't there... moving beyond her attachment to Zephyr to one for Kain as well.]

[Action] ...they need a band too. DRAGON AWESOMENESS.

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[Kain hugs her as tightly as he's able and despite how guilty he still feels at those words... he also... likes hearing that from her. That he's become so important to her... It means a lot to him.]

I'll fight with all I have to remain here in Gaia from now on. For both of you... And I'll do everything I can to make up for being taken away.

[Taken away to be thrown into a war he'd never asked to be a part of. There's still a lot weighing on his mind about all of what happened. For now, though, Kain moves to find a comfortable spot beside Zephyr.]

[Action] YES! With breathing!

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You are here. That is enough.

[The last thing she wants is for him to run himself into the ground trying to atone for something outside his control.

Still, settling back in for the remainder of the nap she roused from seems ideal for the time. Reis is far more exhausted than she'll say and she situates herself comfortably against Zephyr, close enough to Kain for her head to rest on his shoulder.]

[Action] it would be SO SO EPIC, they swoop in on Zephyr and UNLEASH DRAGON BREATH. also OMG CUTE.

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[But atonement TO INFINITY is what Kain does. :|]

...After where I've been... I prefer this.

[He'll have to tell her eventually, about the war and everything, but for now, he just wants to have a moment of peace, enjoying being back with them both.]

[Zephyr makes contented noises, settling her head down, curled up and ready to rest as well.]

[Kain is as comfortable as he can get here- probably not the best place to sleep in the shape he's in- but he's far more content up here beside the two of them. He really needs the contact with them right now. As Reis leans on him, he in turn leans his head against Zephyr. Yes... this is how it's meant to be.]