[After escorting Basch and Noah to Narshe and paying Penelo a visit in Lindblum, Balthier has one more order of business to attend to, this time without company. Ring ring, Celes!]
[Normally, she isn't. It surprises her that she's doing the comforting this time. Terra and Locke... Gaia, even... have had a greater effect on her than she thought.]
He raised me as his own. He was good to me and I loved him. [Her use of past tense could mean any number of things.]
[He inclines his head very slightly, considering the possible meaning of her words. It's possible that she only means he did not follow to Gaia, but from her tone and the very slight shift in her eyes, he presumes this is not the case. He lightly brushes his thumb against hers, his hand still beneath hers on the table.]
My own fault. [Her voice changes, turning harsh again. A moment later, she pulls back again, moving to grip her wine glass with both hands now. That's one subject she hates talking about. The guilt she feels... she doesn't want to think about it.]
I'm surprised Kefka didn't kill him. Maybe he just missed his aim when he blew the world apart.
[He retracts his own hand, watching her shift in expression with interest. He knows that very feeling all too well. Overwhelming guilt, even if the circumstances demanded certain actions. Even if it couldn't be helped. If it was done by your hand, directly or indirectly, you lived with that pain forever.]
I know how you feel, to some degree. My apologies for touching on a sore subject. ... it's not an easy thing to live with.
[She just shakes her head in response. It's not his fault. That's just where the conversation went. She takes a breath and tries to steer their talk back on a more neutral subject.]
It's been two years since I last saw my home and even then... well, when I say Kefka blew the world apart, I'm not kidding.
Is there much of anything to go back to, then? [He raises an eyebrow at that description. Whispers of Kefka's deeds had been caught here and there on the network; all in all, the man sounded like someone Balthier would like to avoid for the rest of his days, if at all possible.]
Not really. Just to put an end to him, but I've already heard that happens, so... there's no reason for me to want to go home. [Aside from to be with Locke again, but... even then... she wouldn't trade everything she's found here for that.]
The people at home will never accept me, even a year later. It's better that I just stay here.
[It wouldn't be the first time someone had doubted her and probably wouldn't be the last, either.]
When I said, up on your ship, I'd killed people in cold blood before, I wasn't kidding. I'm not proud of it by any means, but... when you torch an entire town, people don't tend to forgive you so easily.
I didn't think you were. [He shook his head, making his earrings jangle again.]
There are ways to achieve redemption, though it's a long and difficult road. Captain fon Ronsenburg is still known as a kingslayer in Ivalice. It will take years to clear his name properly, to get people to accept the truth of what happened, but he endeavors nonetheless.
... though I must admit, I like my way better. [He smirks just a touch behind his glass.] Change your name and set flight... come to Gaia. A better place for both of us, I think.
I hope that you do manage, someday. All of us must face down our demons sooner or later, try as we may to outrun them. You'll feel far freer for it, I'm certain. [Take your own advice, Balthier, even if it's to be done on a much smaller scale.]
[She doesn't answer for a minute, watching him from under her eyelashes, though her head is tilted downward. He's an interesting person, to be sure. She can't quite figure him out.]
...Thank you. For listening. Not many people would sit next to a townslayer with a straight face.
Indeed, I count myself fortunate. You'd be so busy you'd never have a moment to spare to chat. [He laughs faintly. Indeed, he's quite impressed with himself, having earned another smirk.]
[Balthier's glass is refilled as well, having just drained the last of it.]
Well, we cannot have that. Allow myself to become so predictable? I won't stand for it. [He offers her a more genuine smile.] Perhaps just once or twice more, then.
I do. I treasure my freedom, you see, and keeping people guessing has always been a part of ensuring that I get to keep it. However, you can always trust an unpredictable man to be predictably unpredictable. [He shrugs easily, smiling behind his glass as he takes a rather long swig of line.] Fran and Captain fon Ronsenburg have been around long enough that I don't sneak much by them anymore. The same can be said for Penelo.
I can tell you're not one for being predictably boring, either. Next time I have questions about you, I'll be sure to go to them first. [Ohhh yeah, she's smirking as she takes her own sip of wine.]
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Date: 2011-05-11 03:53 pm (UTC)He raised me as his own. He was good to me and I loved him. [Her use of past tense could mean any number of things.]
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Date: 2011-05-11 03:55 pm (UTC)He's gone, then. I'm very sorry.
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Date: 2011-05-11 03:59 pm (UTC)I'm surprised Kefka didn't kill him. Maybe he just missed his aim when he blew the world apart.
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Date: 2011-05-11 04:04 pm (UTC)I know how you feel, to some degree. My apologies for touching on a sore subject. ... it's not an easy thing to live with.
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Date: 2011-05-11 04:10 pm (UTC)It's been two years since I last saw my home and even then... well, when I say Kefka blew the world apart, I'm not kidding.
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Date: 2011-05-11 04:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 04:42 pm (UTC)The people at home will never accept me, even a year later. It's better that I just stay here.
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Date: 2011-05-11 04:47 pm (UTC)I'm glad Gaia has offered a better life for you. It has for many. Provided a second or even third chance for many who desired it.
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Date: 2011-05-11 04:51 pm (UTC)Gaia is... a combination of special and infuriating.
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Date: 2011-05-11 04:53 pm (UTC)[He watches her with interest, patient.]
It is, at that.
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Date: 2011-05-11 04:57 pm (UTC)When I said, up on your ship, I'd killed people in cold blood before, I wasn't kidding. I'm not proud of it by any means, but... when you torch an entire town, people don't tend to forgive you so easily.
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Date: 2011-05-11 05:02 pm (UTC)There are ways to achieve redemption, though it's a long and difficult road. Captain fon Ronsenburg is still known as a kingslayer in Ivalice. It will take years to clear his name properly, to get people to accept the truth of what happened, but he endeavors nonetheless.
... though I must admit, I like my way better. [He smirks just a touch behind his glass.] Change your name and set flight... come to Gaia. A better place for both of us, I think.
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Date: 2011-05-11 05:05 pm (UTC)Well, I've got the last part covered. No name change, though. It's not like anyone here knows what I've done.
[ Beat. ] I've been trying for almost three years to forgive myself. Maybe it'll happen someday.
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Date: 2011-05-11 05:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 05:13 pm (UTC)...Thank you. For listening. Not many people would sit next to a townslayer with a straight face.
[Wording used intentionally.]
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Date: 2011-05-11 05:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 05:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 05:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 05:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 05:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 05:28 pm (UTC)[This is about when her wine glass gets refilled. What? She's not a lightweight.]
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Date: 2011-05-11 05:33 pm (UTC)Well, we cannot have that. Allow myself to become so predictable? I won't stand for it. [He offers her a more genuine smile.] Perhaps just once or twice more, then.
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Date: 2011-05-11 05:35 pm (UTC)[Like tonight for example.] Remind me to be prepared at any moment, then.
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Date: 2011-05-11 05:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 05:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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