[action in Luca]

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

[Hope's been putting this off for a while.

Well, okay, that's not strictly true. Things have been coming up, genuine excuses that have been keeping him distracted. But there's also been downtime between the craziness, and he knows he's been avoiding this: the talk he needs to have with Snow. He doesn't want to have to rehash this again, but really? If there are things Snow doesn't remember, it'll come up sooner or later. And the fact Hope couldn't just speak to Snow back home was the reason things turned out as ugly as they did. He doesn't want anything like that to happen again.

So, he'll be looking around the house for him today, checking Serah's room, the kitchen, the garden -- anywhere he's likely to find him.]

Comments

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

[Snow is spending his morning in the kitchen, doing some housekeeping to lighten Serah's load. No reason for her to have to clean and be the house's primary cook. Since he's happy to continue letting her feed him, he's more than willing to do his share of the housework, and so by the time Hope reaches the kitchen, he's bound to spot Snow taking a turn around the room with a broom.]

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

Hey, Snow...?

[Hope hangs in the doorway. It's almost surreal to find Snow doing something like housework, since he strikes Hope as laid-back enough to not care much about it. Lightning's more of a neat freak. It's a testament to how seriously he takes living with Serah, Hope guesses.

He steps into the kitchen, mentally steeling himself.]

Um, are you busy? I wanted to ask you something.

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

Huh?

[Snow pauses mid-stroke with the broom in his hand, glancing over his shoulder and offering a smile when he spots Hope.]

Oh! Sure thing, little buddy. What can I do for you?

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

[Hope hesitates, and chooses his words carefully. He doesn't want to make this conversation any more awkward for either of them than it has to be.]

This is going to sound like a weird question, but... I never asked, and I should have. What's the last thing you remember before you were brought to Gaia?

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

[Well, it's kind of a weird question, but Vanille and Serah have asked him the same thing.]

Fang and I were on our way to Palumpolum. The rest of us had split up awhile back, I'd stayed behind with Serah.

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

Palumpolum...

[Hope's face falls. He'd been expecting Snow to be at least a little further head in time than that.]

So you don't remember anything that happened when you got there, huh?

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

[Snow shakes his head, offering Hope a sympathetic sort of look.]

Sorry, bro. Didn't make it that far.

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

[Hope's looking distinctly uncomfortable now, and looks away from Snow. How does he even talk about this? About what he tried to do -- what he almost did?]

Has Light or Fang or anyone told you about what happened there?

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

[He shook his head again, pulling a chair out from the kitchen table and gesturing for Hope to seat himself before taking the next seat over.]

Make yourself comfortably, buddy. Nope... nobody mentioned a thing about it. Serah said there was a lot I'd missed, but... [He shrugs.]

I didn't get a lot of details.

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[Hope sits, but his movements are awkward and stiff, not relaxed in the slightest. He really doesn't want to have this conversation. HIs eyes stay fixed on his knees.]

I... You should know what happened there. You have a right to know. Me and Light were travelling together, and when we got there, we snuck into town past the soldiers. We got through, but when we got to the arena, we were spotted and surrounded. That's when you and Fang busted us out. Light ran off, and you stayed back with me. We were...

[He looks up at Snow, finally.] Palumpolum's my hometown. We were going to regroup at my dad's house. I had something I had to tell him.

[Just what that something is, he won't say just yet. He'll get to it soon enough.]

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

Yeah? Sounds like it was something big.

[The larger man leans heavily against the table, resting his chin in one gloved hand.]

Come on, go ahead and spit it out. You don't have to be cagey or anything around me, y'know.

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

[Mutely, Hope nods. He really doesn't want to drop this bombshell on Snow again, but he knows he has to.]

In the Purge, my mom died in the fighting. Her name was Nora.

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

Nora, huh? [That was a pretty strange coincidence. He frowned.]

There were a lot of people who died that day... I hate to admit we couldn't save 'em all. But your mom...

[He didn't remember Hope from that firefight, but he did remember a woman who could easily be his mother... all too well. Her face still haunted him, even here in Gaia; he had done all he could to keep her safe and it still hadn't been enough. What sort of hero did that make him?]

... I'm not as dumb as everyone thinks I am. That was your mom with me on the bridge... wasn't it?

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

Yeah. [Hope's head drops.] My mom left me behind to join the fighting. I watched her die.

And after that, Snow, I-- [He looks up at him, expression anguished and his voice now becoming a little shaky.] I never told you. I tried, but I couldn't, no matter how long we travelled together in Lake Bresha. I hated you. I blamed you for what happened to Mom.

So when we met up again in Palumpolum, I... I... [He clenches his hands into fists and looks away. How do you even admit something like this to someone? What if Snow reacts badly to it? These are different times and circumstances now.]

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

[Snow just regards him patiently, expectant, his own expression grave for once.]

You what?

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

[The patience just makes him feel worse, if anything. Hope's chair scrapes back as he stands, hands balled into fists and still staring at the floor.]

I tried to kill you, Snow. I hated you so much that I wanted you to die, for what you did to Mom. [His voice is thick with emotion, and now it's all coming out in a rush.] --O-Or, what I thought you did. It was the Sanctum's fault. I blamed you because it was easier.

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

[Snow looks downward, away from Hope as his own mouth twists into a frown, processing what he's just been told, or attempting to.]

... what stopped you?

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

I -- I don't really remember what happened. There was an attack, and a big explosion. You saved my life. You didn't have to, you were hurt badly, but you saved me anyway.

[He's looking anywhere but at Snow, head still bent ashamedly.]

If... If you're mad at me, I can leave.

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

[Snow puts up a hand to halt him, his expression somewhat puzzled, but otherwise calm.]

Hold it right there. Do I look mad to you, kid?

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

[Hope looks up, and blinks.]

...No. But I didn't know how you'd react. Everything's different now we're on Gaia.

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

Gotta be honest. I'm not really sure how I feel. I felt guilty about your mom, Hope... still do. Can't blame you for bein' mad. It was an accident, I did everything I could, I tried to stop her from going... and the worst happened. I'd be pretty pissed, too, if I were you.

[He frowns again.]

But you didn't hurt me. You stopped. That's what matters.

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

Yeah... I know it wasn't your fault, Snow. I know that now. Please don't blame yourself. [Hope hesitates, but gains in confidence as he speaks.]

...Now you know, we can still be friends, right?

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

I know I can't really blame myself. I fought like hell to protect her. I told her not to come. [Snow just shakes his head.] I couldn't have stopped it. But I wish I'd been able to.

[He looks up at Hope's question.]

Of course. What kind of a question is that? You're still my buddy, right?