029 - Rinoa - Video

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

[Rinoa is back in her room in Garden. She's curled up on the bed, hugging her dog, Angelo. The pair are inseparable. Rinoa can't look at anyone else without the memories of everything she did getting in the way. But Angelo loves her. Even though she locked Angelo up and left her, a dog's love is unconditional and Rinoa is clinging to that right now.

She looks at the camera for several long moments. She knows that she has to apologise to everyone, but what can she say?]

...I'm sorry.

[And that's all Rinoa can manage for now. She leans forward and the feed switches off.]

Comments

[video] / [filtered]

[magitekrune.livejournal.com]

[Hmmm, how should she put this...]

Some who have committed such acts don't have the luxury of having their actions made for them, of being controlled by another. For some, their actions were fully their own and they have to live with that memory, the knowledge of what they willingly did.

[She's the one who looks away this time.]

[video] / [filtered]

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

[Rinoa frowns.]

What are you trying to say? I didn't do any of it willingly - and it's not a luxury. How can you even say that?

[video] / [filtered]

[magitekrune.livejournal.com]

That's my point. From what it sounds... it wasn't willing for you.

[She considers how to word everything.] Both sides have their bad memories, the repentance behind them. What should be judged is willing action... and action after repentance.

[Which is a long way of saying she understands... sort of.]

[video] / [filtered]

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

[Rinoa is silent for some time. Then she nods.]

Yeah.

[video] / [filtered]

[magitekrune.livejournal.com]

I don't know which is worse. All I know is... the side I've stood on.

[video] / [filtered]

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

[Okay, that gets her curious enough to look at Celes.]

Side?

[video] / [filtered]

[magitekrune.livejournal.com]

[She sighs.]

Can you guess?

[video] / [filtered]

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

[...And she twigs it.]

You were talking about yourself. So you mean... you did something terrible... willingly?

[video] / [filtered]

[magitekrune.livejournal.com]

[She doesn't answer for a little. Eventually she turns back to face the feed.] Something like three years ago now, under Emperor Gestahl's orders, I torched the town of Maranda. The survivors never forgave me, not even after I joined the Returners to fight the Empire.

[She pauses again.] That's how I know Kefka.

[video] / [filtered]

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

[Rinoa's eyes widen.]

You used to side with Kefka?

[video] / [filtered]

[magitekrune.livejournal.com]

It's a time I try to forget. Often.

But unlike him, I decided to stop. And if people could accept me after what I'd done... you'll be fine.

[She's really bad at this comfort thing, but... maybe this'll help.]

[video] / [filtered]

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

But the townspeople. You said they never forgave you...

[video] / [filtered]

[magitekrune.livejournal.com]

I didn't exactly stick around once I became a Returner.

[ She sighs a little and searches for the right words. ] You have to decide which hurts worse: facing everyone and proving you've changed or hiding away and wallowing in your guilt. Every day I live that choice.

[video] / [filtered]

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

[She's silent at that. It hits a raw nerve.]

...Thank you.

[video] / [filtered]

[magitekrune.livejournal.com]

[She nods, understanding.]

...You're welcome.