[action in Luca]

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

[Hope's been putting this off for a while.

Well, okay, that's not strictly true. Things have been coming up, genuine excuses that have been keeping him distracted. But there's also been downtime between the craziness, and he knows he's been avoiding this: the talk he needs to have with Snow. He doesn't want to have to rehash this again, but really? If there are things Snow doesn't remember, it'll come up sooner or later. And the fact Hope couldn't just speak to Snow back home was the reason things turned out as ugly as they did. He doesn't want anything like that to happen again.

So, he'll be looking around the house for him today, checking Serah's room, the kitchen, the garden -- anywhere he's likely to find him.]

Comments

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

[Mutely, Hope nods. He really doesn't want to drop this bombshell on Snow again, but he knows he has to.]

In the Purge, my mom died in the fighting. Her name was Nora.

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

Nora, huh? [That was a pretty strange coincidence. He frowned.]

There were a lot of people who died that day... I hate to admit we couldn't save 'em all. But your mom...

[He didn't remember Hope from that firefight, but he did remember a woman who could easily be his mother... all too well. Her face still haunted him, even here in Gaia; he had done all he could to keep her safe and it still hadn't been enough. What sort of hero did that make him?]

... I'm not as dumb as everyone thinks I am. That was your mom with me on the bridge... wasn't it?

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

Yeah. [Hope's head drops.] My mom left me behind to join the fighting. I watched her die.

And after that, Snow, I-- [He looks up at him, expression anguished and his voice now becoming a little shaky.] I never told you. I tried, but I couldn't, no matter how long we travelled together in Lake Bresha. I hated you. I blamed you for what happened to Mom.

So when we met up again in Palumpolum, I... I... [He clenches his hands into fists and looks away. How do you even admit something like this to someone? What if Snow reacts badly to it? These are different times and circumstances now.]

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

[Snow just regards him patiently, expectant, his own expression grave for once.]

You what?

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

[The patience just makes him feel worse, if anything. Hope's chair scrapes back as he stands, hands balled into fists and still staring at the floor.]

I tried to kill you, Snow. I hated you so much that I wanted you to die, for what you did to Mom. [His voice is thick with emotion, and now it's all coming out in a rush.] --O-Or, what I thought you did. It was the Sanctum's fault. I blamed you because it was easier.

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

[Snow looks downward, away from Hope as his own mouth twists into a frown, processing what he's just been told, or attempting to.]

... what stopped you?

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

I -- I don't really remember what happened. There was an attack, and a big explosion. You saved my life. You didn't have to, you were hurt badly, but you saved me anyway.

[He's looking anywhere but at Snow, head still bent ashamedly.]

If... If you're mad at me, I can leave.

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

[Snow puts up a hand to halt him, his expression somewhat puzzled, but otherwise calm.]

Hold it right there. Do I look mad to you, kid?

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

[Hope looks up, and blinks.]

...No. But I didn't know how you'd react. Everything's different now we're on Gaia.

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

Gotta be honest. I'm not really sure how I feel. I felt guilty about your mom, Hope... still do. Can't blame you for bein' mad. It was an accident, I did everything I could, I tried to stop her from going... and the worst happened. I'd be pretty pissed, too, if I were you.

[He frowns again.]

But you didn't hurt me. You stopped. That's what matters.

[holyjudgement.livejournal.com]

Yeah... I know it wasn't your fault, Snow. I know that now. Please don't blame yourself. [Hope hesitates, but gains in confidence as he speaks.]

...Now you know, we can still be friends, right?

[rebelpugilist.livejournal.com]

I know I can't really blame myself. I fought like hell to protect her. I told her not to come. [Snow just shakes his head.] I couldn't have stopped it. But I wish I'd been able to.

[He looks up at Hope's question.]

Of course. What kind of a question is that? You're still my buddy, right?