http://livelyangel.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] livelyangel.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] mooglenet_backup2010-09-19 06:42 pm

029 - Rinoa - Video

[Rinoa is back in her room in Garden. She's curled up on the bed, hugging her dog, Angelo. The pair are inseparable. Rinoa can't look at anyone else without the memories of everything she did getting in the way. But Angelo loves her. Even though she locked Angelo up and left her, a dog's love is unconditional and Rinoa is clinging to that right now.

She looks at the camera for several long moments. She knows that she has to apologise to everyone, but what can she say?]


...I'm sorry.

[And that's all Rinoa can manage for now. She leans forward and the feed switches off.]

[Video/Filtered]

[identity profile] heavenslament.livejournal.com 2010-09-22 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[Terra stares downward, silent for a moment. That's a good question. She then looks up, meeting Rinoa's gaze again.]

In some ways, I'm still getting through it. I still have dreams and flashbacks...and there's not much warning for either. I've gotten better with time, but I don't know if that sort of thing will ever really go away...or the guilt. It's easy for people who haven't been controlled to say that it's not our fault, but...some things can't be erased just because of that, you know?

[Pause.]

The way I get through it is with the support of my friends. They know what Kefka did, what he's like, and have accepted me despite my past. That...means far more to me than I can possibly say.

I know I can't change what happened, but at the same time, I won't let it control my present. Not anymore. I'll use my powers, but I'll use them to protect people, and every time I do that, I fight Kefka's words about me. I don't have to be destruction incarnate.

[Video/Filtered]

[identity profile] heavenslament.livejournal.com 2010-09-24 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
[Terra tugs the end of her ponytail, needing something for her free hand to do.]

Not as much as I used to be, no. Once I gained knowledge of what I am, that helped me from panicking, and I learned that my Esper form -what you saw earlier- could be managed if I wasn't in it for too long. In brief bursts, I'm okay.

...when I was in the Void, with Cloud and Squall and the others, I couldn't remember any of that, though. I don't know why, but we only remembered the war there and not the rest of our lives. I think that amnesia is what caused me to lose control again. But...with the help of the friends I had gained there, I was able to stop it from happening further. It wasn't easy, but...it proved to be possible.

[Video/Filtered]

[identity profile] heavenslament.livejournal.com 2010-09-24 01:22 pm (UTC)(link)
It's...well, you know of the Eidolons here, right? I guess Esper is the word used in my world, though there the Espers had their own town and way of life. My father was one of their kind and my mother a human. I'm the only -um, hybrid?- so Kefka and the empire he served thought they could use me to their advantage. Magic is very rare in my world, and so my powers...they mean a lot more there than they do in Gaia.

[Video/Filtered]

[identity profile] heavenslament.livejournal.com 2010-09-24 04:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[She nods, a wry smile on her lips for just a moment.]

The Emperor and Kefka thought I could help them in their bid to acquire more power. They captured full-blooded Espers for that purpose, too, but I was the only one they used in that way. The others were imprisoned and slowly drained....

[Her said grows distant, saddened, but she focuses once more.]

It's not exactly a secret, what I am, but I don't usually tell people unless there's reason for them to know. I don't want to be judged...and it's hard to shake that fear of being used again.

[Video/Filtered]

[identity profile] heavenslament.livejournal.com 2010-09-24 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[She winces a little at that.]

I'm sorry. It's hard enough, living with such power, without having everyone know, and judge. But...you have friends, too, right? Squall and the others....

Re: [Video/Filtered]

[identity profile] heavenslament.livejournal.com 2010-09-25 09:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[Terra nods.]

I hope you won't have to hide for too long. And...if it helps, you can call me. I know it's not a fun subject, but that's okay.